Why is life so shitty for some and so beautiful for others? Sometimes it seems like a giant cosmic joke. Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. But do I understand Him? Hardly ever. When a 5-year old comes up to me & tells me that she’s scared her momma’s boyfriend is going to come find & hurt her, I don’t understand God. When a 17-year old girl has a boyfriend who chokes her, yet she feels trapped because she’s having his baby, I don’t understand God. When a 14-year old girl berates her friend for her poor choices, not realizing the irony that she has plenty of her own to speak of, I don’t understand God. When a 16-year old girl has so much potential yet throws it all away for a “feel good” moment in the here and now, I don’t understand God. And when a 23-year old mother abandons her child to be with a man who “doesn’t like kids”, I don’t understand God.
Do I believe that God loves these children? I really try to. Yet where is He? I know that “Why” can be a dangerous question, yet I have no other question to ask.