Two Powerful Words

I got very frustrated today with one of my students in the after-school program. He had a bad attitude, rushed through his homework (on which he had several mistakes), and refused to learn how to do his work correctly. I tried reasoning, I tried listening, I tried teaching; yet all of these failed. So in frustration, I got up, told him I wasn't going to help him anymore, and walked away. The thing that made me the most upset was his apathetic attitude. He didn't care if his homework was wrong, or he didn't understand how to do it; he just wanted to get it done. About 1/2 hr. later, I was upstairs in the building and this young man came up to me and said, "I'm sorry." (He went into a little more detail :) It was kind of funny how instantly my whole outlook on the day changed. Those 2 words, spoken with genuineness, moved something deep inside of me. It's kind of ironic, because he's a kid and can say those words after thinking about something for a mere 30 minutes, while I'm an adult and still find it very difficult to say them at all.

Happy Halloween!

Wrestling With God

I caught a glimpse of the depth of darkness in my soul the other night, and I was ashamed. I had come home after a conversation with a friend, lying in bed wanting to just fall asleep; yet that was unattainable. It wasn't just too much caffeine in my system, or the fact that I wasn't really tired...the Holy Spirit had some work He wanted to do, and I guess He figured He pretty much had my attention then.
Earlier my friend and I had this conversation regarding some inevitable events that were about to take place. I've been trying to avoid thinking about the whole situation, but as we all know, avoiding something doesn't make it go away.
As I laid there, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to pray about the situation, which I really haven't done much of. I didn't feel like it, yet I conceded and began to pray. (Pray, of course, for what I wanted to have happen.) It wasn't long before, once again, the Holy Spirit went to work. He was challenging me to actually pray that this person would experience the love of God, resulting in desiring to return that love. And I didn't want to pray that.
So I started "wrestling" with God. I ranted, I raved, I pleaded my case, I cried, and yet, in the end, I was the one who came out limping, yet better (I hope) for it.
I realized that I didn't want to pray for this person to actually experience the life-changing love of God because I didn't think he deserves to be forgiven. He's done too much, for too long, that is too damaging; he doesn't deserve for the slate to be wiped clean.
As the truth of my motives smacked me in the face, I was ashamed to realize that not only do I look at myself as "better" than some people, but I look at myself as more deserving of the love of God.
Inadvertently, I had placed a limit on how far God's love could reach.
I wish I could say my wrestling is over, but it's not. I still wince at the thought of praying for this person...even if it's a 1 sentence choked out prayer: "God, change him...and change me."

A Walk on the "Other Side"

I love my job. (Okay, I'll admit, my sentiment at the end of every day is not always this, but deep down inside it's true.) I love the energy that enters the building as the kids trickle in from school and want to tell us about their day. I love seeing them run around the playground with abandon and huge smiles on their faces. I love the questions they ask, the stories they tell, and the hugs they give. But even more than that, I love the look that a kid gets on their face when they really "get" something, and you make a huge deal of it, telling them they're the smartest thing in the whole wide world. And, even if it's for just a moment, they believe you. I love the dreams that are born and cultivated here, the futures that are opened up to possibility, and the character that is being built. Some days are really hard, and I find myself unable to see through the difficulty of it all to the beauty waiting on the other side. Yet today I experienced one of those "other side" days, and I walked away feeling blessed to be a part of it all.

A Child's Reasoning

I was watching my friends' kids for a night while they were out of town. After our long day of school and Bible study, we decided the best dinner option was McDonald's! They were soooo excited to be going there, you'd think they never eat there (right, Marcie!?) The boy took a picture of the "golden arches" with my camera phone for a long-lasting memory, and we proceeded to go inside to eat (even better, according to them). After we finished and were heading back to the car, the age-old battle began: Who gets the front seat? The boy had the front on the way there, so naturally it should be his sister's turn. However, he argued that not only is he older, he weighs more, and therefore is the only who can sit in the front. To which his sister replied, "Well, I just ate!" I cracked up. And then I reminded her that although she did just eat, so did her brother :)

Touching the Clouds

A coworker and I had a "back to school party" for a group of our 4th & 5th grade girls yesterday. They're always asking when it's going to be "their turn" to have a party (usually it's the older girls who get all the fun stuff, so they think). So yesterday was their special day! It was a lot of fun, and I was reminded why we don't do it too often ;)
There was this great park near the house we were at, so we took all the girls over there for awhile. One of the girls who is extremely shy and timid asked me if I would swing with her. We walked over to the swings, I gave her a few pushes to get her going, and then I jumped on my swing. As soon as I started, she looked at me with this giant smile on her face and said, "I'm going higher than you! Look...I'm going to touch the clouds!" I decided I couldn't let a 7 year old beat me at swinging, so I started putting all my energy and concentration into it! I leaned back and stretched my legs out as far as I could as I headed towards the sky, and pumped with all my might. Needless to say, I never did quite catch her, but I treasured that moment of carefree abandon.
We found ourselves laughing and grinning from ear to ear as we "touched the clouds".

Andrea's Ark

So I've decided to build an ark (similar to Noah's) and live in it; I'm thinking it might at least be dryer than my apartment!
As most of you probably know, we've been getting hit hard with storms for the past few days, and last night was the worst yet. In all my time living in Chicago, I don't think I've seen a storm like this one. My roommate and I and a friend of mine were all in our apartment when suddenly I felt something wet on my foot. I looked down and realized that water was coming through our walls! AHHHH! Before we knew it, we found ourselves trapped in the apartment with water continuously coming in both the front and back doors, and through the walls. (The water level was too high by both doors to get out.) This happened to us last fall, but thankfully this time we had a bit more "warning" and were able to get most of our things and furniture off the floor. I was so frustrated, but a really cool thing happened in the midst of all the madness: our neighbors came and began bailing us out! Because we were trapped, we'd called our landlord (who lives upstairs) and he came down with a bucket and began the "process". One of our neighbors saw him out the window, so she came over with her daughter, and a few other guys joined them. They made an assembly line and worked for probably about 1/2 hr. to get the water level down. I didn't even know 2 of the people helping, yet there they were, serving me above and beyond (keep in mind it's still storming outside as they're helping). Maybe it was because I was so on edge (or maybe it was because one doesn't experience generosity like this very often), but I suddenly felt like crying. I experienced genuine caring, and I was really challenged: would I do the same?