I Don't Want to Drown

I went down for a walk on the lake path yesterday and, as usual, stopped about 1/2 way through my walk to sit in my favorite spot. Sometimes I'll pray, sometimes I'll observe, and sometimes I'll just feel the sun on my face and breathe deeply.
This day was quite a windy day, and as I sat there, I became mesmerized by watching the waves of Lake Michigan rolling and crashing into the rocks. I couldn't help but think: "This is how my spirit has felt lately; like there's these tumultuous waves crashing around inside of me, leaving me feeling quite unsettled." And I've been fighting so hard against it. I don't want to feel uneasy or unsettled, like a storm is brewing. I much prefer feeling that peaceful serenity.
And yet in the midst of my musings, God brought this thought to mind: If a swimmer finds oneself in the middle of a storm, to fight against the waves will only exhaust one faster and lead to more sure death. However, if one allows himself to "feel" the waves (to roll with rather than against them), there is a much better chance of survival.
It's hard to believe that God has placed this "unsettling" in my soul for a reason. I pray that He'll give me grace to roll with the waves rather than continuing to fight against them and drown.