Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The "why" of it all...

Why is life so shitty for some and so beautiful for others? Sometimes it seems like a giant cosmic joke. Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. But do I understand Him? Hardly ever. When a 5-year old comes up to me & tells me that she’s scared her momma’s boyfriend is going to come find & hurt her, I don’t understand God. When a 17-year old girl has a boyfriend who chokes her, yet she feels trapped because she’s having his baby, I don’t understand God. When a 14-year old girl berates her friend for her poor choices, not realizing the irony that she has plenty of her own to speak of, I don’t understand God. When a 16-year old girl has so much potential yet throws it all away for a “feel good” moment in the here and now, I don’t understand God. And when a 23-year old mother abandons her child to be with a man who “doesn’t like kids”, I don’t understand God.

Do I believe that God loves these children? I really try to. Yet where is He? I know that “Why” can be a dangerous question, yet I have no other question to ask.

2 comments:

mama2dibs said...

I don't know as I can answer that question. All I can say is

A.) when we sin (the people you are talking about, not you) it DEFINITELY affects all of those around us...we aren't an island.

B.) It's the choices we make (sometimes) that get us in the messes we're in.

and C.) God is sovereign. I don't understand WHY He chooses pain to get through to some people, but that was the method He chose to save our sins, too.

Now, all of that comes from a perspective of a "life of relative ease", so I can only imagine the pain you go through watching this on a daily basis...wanting to change lives for God, but not 100% sure how to affect that change in these hurting lives.

Above all, I can say I will be praying for you. LOTS of prayers going to God in your behalf. Love ya, sister!

Anonymous said...

God is a God of love and He hasn't forgotten to love all these individuals either. But they haven't chosen to love Him back. He's still there waiting for them and we may not understand why He doesn't intervene and "make" them love Him but He is that sovereign God, pure and holy and LOVING. I know it's hard to understand. None of us can with our little pea sized brains but some day we will. Keep up the good work you are doing...never give up, quit or stop the love You can give...Remember YOU may be the only Jesus they'll see. Keep loving. I'm praying for you. Love, m.o.m.