Cast All Your Votes for Dancing

Cast All Your Votes for Dancing
By: Hafiz

I know the voice of depression
Still calls to you.

I know those habits that can ruin your life
Still send their invitations.

But you are with the Friend now
And look so much stronger.

You can stay that way
And even bloom!

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From your prayers and work and music
And from your companions' beautiful laughter.

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From the sacred hands and glance of your Beloved
And, my dear,
From the most insignificant movements
Of your own holy body.

Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins
That may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days
Like a broken man
Behind a farting camel.

You are with the Friend now.
Learn what actions of yours delight Him,
What actions of your bring freedom
And Love.

Whenever you say God's name, dear pilgrim,
My ears wish my head was missing
So they could finally kiss each other
And applaud all your nourishing wisdom!

O keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From your prayers and work and music
And from your companions' beautiful laughter

And from the insignificant movements
Of your own holy body.

Now, sweet one,
Be wise.
Cast all your votes for Dancing!

The "why" of it all...

Why is life so shitty for some and so beautiful for others? Sometimes it seems like a giant cosmic joke. Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. But do I understand Him? Hardly ever. When a 5-year old comes up to me & tells me that she’s scared her momma’s boyfriend is going to come find & hurt her, I don’t understand God. When a 17-year old girl has a boyfriend who chokes her, yet she feels trapped because she’s having his baby, I don’t understand God. When a 14-year old girl berates her friend for her poor choices, not realizing the irony that she has plenty of her own to speak of, I don’t understand God. When a 16-year old girl has so much potential yet throws it all away for a “feel good” moment in the here and now, I don’t understand God. And when a 23-year old mother abandons her child to be with a man who “doesn’t like kids”, I don’t understand God.

Do I believe that God loves these children? I really try to. Yet where is He? I know that “Why” can be a dangerous question, yet I have no other question to ask.

10 Things I learned in Connecticut...

10. There are some strange people in CT. (And NO...my family is not included in this...)
9. I may not be quite as ready to buy a house as I thought. (My brother-in-law is very knowledgeable about certain things, and gave me some good tips!)
8. I'm pretty sure my body would let me sleep for 15 straight hrs. in a cool, dark room with no windows & my fan blowing. (Good thing I have a very large window in my room to help get me out of bed.)
7. It's actually pretty difficult to entertain a baby & cook dinner at the same time.
6. I don't think I could be a full-time, stay-at-home mom. I would have to go to work just for a change of scenery.
5. My Wii fitness age is 41. (Although, in my defense, the pitcher was throwing 87 mph fast balls; no wonder I kept striking out!)
4. Life is not always fair. (Less than 6 months after having a baby, my sister is already back in a size 4...I, on the other hand, am pretty sure I've never been a size 4..... :)
3. It's really easy to shoot 3 rolls of film and about 100 digital pictures in a few short days.
2. My nephew takes after me in that: A. He wants to eat when he wakes up, and B. He can fall asleep in the car in 5 seconds flat.
1. It's not that hard to fall in love, especially when it's with the cutest 6 month old in the world!

Thinking it over....

The quote at the top of my page holds a lot of personal significance to me, beyond just the fact that it's tattooed on my body. It's a constant reminder to me that we are broken people, and all of us are longing for someone to show us grace (mercy, pardon, that which we do not deserve.)
I haven't written in a really long time, and I'm not exactly sure why. The only reason I'm sitting here now, trying to write, is because I need to process, and I'm too overwhelmed to do anything else.
I spoke to a grandmother in my neighborhood today, and got some very unsettling news. I'm still somewhat in shock, I think. And as I looked at my foot tonight, with the words "Alive, Broken, and Grace" tattooed there, all I could do was shake my head. Because I'm tired of giving grace to the broken people in my life. (Sounds selfish, right? Sounds self-righteous, no? Unfortunately, it's honest.) I'm tired of watching one irresponsible choice after another be made, with no thought of the consequences, or who else if affected, or what lives can be ruined. I am terrified of where this path is headed, and for those who have found themselves there, in spite of whether or not they ever had a choice.
Does there come a point where grace gets in the way of personal responsibility, or owning up to one's own poor choices? WHEN IS ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ALREADY?!