"Jesus Did NOT Come to Help Me Be a Better King!"

My pastor at New Community, in my opinion, is a phenomenal teacher! He is one of those rare people I've found in life that draws me in and makes me want to listen to them for hours. Rarely do I walk away from church without being challenged. I often find myself internally saying "Ouch" to something he says...it hits the mark. Yesterday he was preaching about the "Gospel" (I know, a scary word for some), and how ultimately, the Gospel is about the Kingdom of God. To put it briefly, everything we do in life either adversely or positively affects the Kingdom.
Jesus came to invite me to be a part of His Kingdom, not to help me be a better King!

"He's not my Daddy...He's just my Father"

These words were said to me yesterday by a girl who, for the past 14 years of her life, has been lacking a "daddy" in her life. He's been back in the picture for a few months and thinks that he suddenly has the right to assert authority over her. And, naturally, she's balking at the whole idea. Just because he's her biological father doesn't mean that he has earned any right to be heard in her life. She's beginning to allow herself to feel the deep pain, hurt, and disappointment that he's caused her. Whoever said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" must not have had an absentee parent, because "fondness" is certainly not the emotion that has been born from this absence.

How do kids come up with these things? :)

I had my own adventures in motherhood the past few days as I was staying with 3 kids while their parents were out of town. It's funny how you can appreciate the freedoms of "singlehood" so much more after a stint like this :) One night, the youngest child, who is 3 years old, came over and crawled up on my lap. She snuggled up and laid her head on my shoulder. I asked her if she was tired and wanted to go to bed. She said no. I reminded her that she'd only had a short nap in the car that day to which she replied, "I wasn't sleeping...I was praying."

"I will never find the best of me, until I find myself in You."

I've been feeling the pressure of life lately. Go, Go, Go, with barely any time to breathe in between one thing and the next. So a few weeks ago I booked myself a room at this resort in Elkhart Lake, WI and I spent some time there this weekend. I turned my phone off for 24 hrs. (yes, I know, hard to do, but not impossible!). I often have great intentions of spending time with just me and God, but somehow I always seem to be interrupted or distracted. I needed this. After I took a walk, enjoying silence that I haven't heard in awhile, I sat down to write. Here's a piece of what came out:

"It's been such a long time, God. I feel as if I've been trying to survive off of my 'past encounters' with You and have no present ones of which to speak. I've been feeling suffocated and wanted to take this day for not only some space, but in order to remember how to simply take a deep breath again. To remember what it means to "commune" with You. So here I am. I've pulled a chair up to the table, and I'm excited to spend some time with You."

Needless to say, I wasn't disappointed. I believe that whenever we intentionally clear out some space for God, He'll make His presence known in one way or another. I did my share of crying, smiling, and yes, even a little dancing :) I came away refreshed.

Sometimes we have to retreat in order to be able to keep fighting.

Dreaming for Another...

A friend relayed this quote to me tonight, and the more I think about it, the more I like it :) She paraphrased it for me, which I'll do for you as well (I tried to find the actual quote online, but got tired of looking, so if you know it, send it my way).

"To dream for oneself is one thing,

But to dream for another is something."

I was telling the story of how one of my young friends called me today asking for my advice. I was figuring she just wanted to know what shirt she should wear that day, but it ended up being a much heavier conversation than that. She's a young teenager, recently had a baby, and the baby's daddy is in jail. They've been talking on the phone and he told her he thinks he wants to "be" with her once he gets out. Everyone in her family is telling her she should go for it, and she wanted to know what I thought. I told her I thought it was a horrible idea! Why should he be allowed to not only screw up his own life, but hers in the process? Doesn't she realize that she deserves so much better than that?

That's when my friend who I was telling this to shared this quote with me. She encouraged me to continue this conversation with this girl, letting her know that I'm walking through this with her. I believe in her, and I dream that she has more in store for her in this life than this guy could ever give her, even when she can't see it or dream it for herself.

"I DON'T BELONG"

I'm going to this new church, and I have to say that I really like it! I'm being challenged in a way that's been missing for awhile, and I truly look forward to going. One of the things I like the most is that the pastor doesn't take the "easy way out". He really digs into a passage and pulls out meaning that I feel is so profound, yet usually merely glossed over by others.

Today he made the following statement that has really got me thinking. He said the Gospel is this:

We are more sinful and more rebellious than we ever dared believe,

yet more loved and more accepted than we ever dared hope.

I AM NOT WORTHY TO SIT AT THE FATHER'S TABLE! I DON'T BELONG!

Yet because of Christ, I AM, and I DO!

"Family Reunion"

Everyone came together for my grandma's funeral this past week. It was actually a really nice service. The people who spoke about my grandma had some great memories to share, and it was beautiful to see the legacy she'd left behind with her life. The pastor actually shared how he was reading the 23rd Psalm to my grandma (her favorite Psalm) one day. She appeared to be sleeping, and had been very unresponsive for days. However, as soon as he read the first line of the Psalm, "The Lord is my Shepherd", she opened her eyes and said, "Yes, He sure is." I'd been holding it together fairly well up to this point, but as soon as he said that, the tears broke loose once again. (Good thing I'd brought some tissues along!)

Due to all the family coming together, the funeral ended up being somewhat of a reunion. I'm not that close to my extended family, but I absolutely LOVE hearing when my aunts and uncles share stories from their lives. They talked about WWII and how they had to have food stamps and ration certain supplies. My uncle shared about how he dated this woman for 7 years (seems practically impossible, right?) and then was stationed over in England, asked her to come with, and she refused. So, he ended up meeting my aunt and marrying her instead! I asked my mom if there were any men in her life that could've ended up being my dad and she told me the following:
There was a guy she was dating and I guess was pretty serious about, but there was one catch: he worked at a funeral home, and his job was transporting the bodies. To make matters worse, occasionally he would pick her up for dates in his hearse, WITH THE DEAD BODIES IN THE BACK OF THE CAR! He figured he might as well drop the body off at whatever funeral home he needed to on the way to their date. How resourceful of him! Well, he picked my mom up once again for a date in, of course, his hearse! They went out, (the whole time the body was hitting my mom in the back of the head as they drove) and my mom finally couldn't take it any more! She broke things off with him (yea mom!) and the rest is history. Just think...I could've had a dad who drove me to school each morning in his hearse! (Just as a side note, I think she picked the right one with my dad :) What a great story! It's so interesting to hear about the lives of people BEFORE they were who I know them to be!
You never know what you just might learn about someone that you never thought possible.